Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
