Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
