omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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