I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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