you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
