A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
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