So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
