she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
