Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
