good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We need to get me chipped asap
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
