i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
