So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
