You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
