Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
