she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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