he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
