p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
