My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.Â
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
