Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
