Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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