we have officially lost it.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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