True but thats because hes a fetus.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
