the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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