i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Someone shit on the floor
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
