The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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