I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
