Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
