I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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