these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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