Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
