I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
