I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
How external is "for external use only"?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
