He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
