I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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