what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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