she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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