WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Randomize
