Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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