Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
