i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
