one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
