i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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