so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
