When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
