OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
