oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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