My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
