there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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