I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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