As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
