Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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