bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
